Hey, Mr. Universe, can you help me please?
I'm only seven stone two
When I'm on the beach, the girls stay out of reach
They all want someone like you

You've got to help me, please Mr. Universe
Don't tell me that I'm just a hopeless case
Don't let me down now, please Mr. Universe
I'm sick of getting sand thrown in my face

Mr. Universe, you know it's getting worse
I need your seven-day plan
I'm thinner every day, before I waste away
I need a muscle-bound m